On getting older

I don’t often look in the mirror. I don’t mean to do my hair or make up, but REALLY look. Especially in good light. Yeah. I did that.

Imagine my surprise when I saw the crepe-y skin, not only on my neck, but on my face. When I could no longer deny the existence of the fine (and not quite as fine) lines around my lips (which by the way, are kind of disappearing). My once (naturally) perfectly shaped eyebrows have become sparse. And of course, the dark, puffy semi-circles under my eyes.

I have decided that I do not like being “middle-aged”. I didn’t like being a teenager either. It’s in between. Not an adult, not a kid. Middle age is the in between age of adulthood. Not elderly, but with most of life already passed.

As much as I do not like middle age, all of my lines and wrinkles will deepen with the passage of time. When they’re finished, I’ll be one Hell of an old lady.

We’ll see where this takes us…

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Resolve to what…?

I guess today, people are supposed to resolve to do (or not do) things that will, perhaps, change the quality of their lives for the better. Usually, these are somewhat generic ideas with little real meaning. You know…I will lose weight…I will get organized…I will stop biting my nails…I will stop smoking…

For most of us, these “resolutions” are fleeting. We needed to do all of those things all along, but we chose to (mostly) ignore them. Why does changing the year on the calendar bring them to the forefront of our thinking? Maybe, it’s due to the passage of time being heralded in such a big way.

In the spirit of the day, I will share my resolve…

…to remove annoying tags from my clothing as soon as I notice them…

…to shred the shred-worthy mail the day it arrives…

…to wax my upper lip with some sort of consistency…

…to not be forced into social situations that require me to be around people with whom I do not want to spend time…

…to take more pictures…

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We’ll see where this takes us…

…with darkness

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I can feel the warmth of the sun on my face

I can hear the sounds of life all around me

I can taste the goodness of cool water

I can smell the fresh breeze

I can see love in their eyes

Imagine how it would feel to be in a place where these things were there, within grasp, but be powerless to touch them

The sun’s warmth scalds

The sounds of life deafen

The cool water fills the lungs

The fresh breeze becomes a hurricane

The love in their eyes appears to be a vacant stare

Imagine living in such a place

Everyday

Feeling hopeless

True confession #2

I do not dust my furniture until I can see footprints left by the cats. I grow cobwebs on purpose. I have seen dust bunnies the size of a baseball in my house. I keep a basket for clean socks in the living room. I do not necessarily put it away when company comes.

The ever present sock basket

The ever present sock basket

We’ll see where this takes us…

Things that make living that much better

IMG_9271Here’s a list (in no particular order) of some stuff that I enjoy in this life. Feel free to add some of your little pleasures.

Tea

Nail polish

Diet Pepsi

Slippers

Cats

Chocolate

Pasta

Fresh flowers

Ceci beans

Hair color

Slutty shoes

Chocolate Chip Pancake Sunday

Bubbles

A few more added by some friends…

Sheets dried on the line

Books

Home made bread

Pinwheels

Naps

Daffodils

Mint chocolate chip ice cream

Words I love

Include but are not limited to:

  • ponder
  • whimsical
  • ruminate
  • courting
  • whilst
  • jollification
  • curmudgeon
  • davenport

I try to work these into conversation whenever possible. We’ll see where this takes us…

( my words kind of look like an hour glass. could this be foreshadowing…?)